Who took the cookies from the cookie jar (of trust)?

April 17, 2011

Felon-free Masonry imagines a scenario like this:

Sticky Felon Fingers:  Whatchu mean they don’t want my pitcher hangin’ up in there?  I was Master there and if they don’t want my pitcher, I’ll take it ’cause that’s my damn pitcher!  Ain’t that right, Transient Tree Trimmer?

Transient Tree Trimmer:  I ain’t got nothin’ to do with that; I’ve gotta focus on the correct application of engineering and timelines on columns.

Professional Business Dolt:  Oh, Sticky, I agree!  You were Master there and they’re disrespecting you!  Oh, I’ll fetch that picture for you!  Oh, I  have keys and will get that picture so you can hang it in your house!  Oh, you were Master there and you have the right to have your picture!  I’m a professional businessman and I know about these things, OH!

Sticky Felon Fingers:  I want my pitcher.  I want my damn pitcher.  Get me that damn pitcher so I can hang it in MY house ’cause I’m the Master there, too.

And so, the plot thickens; who took the felon’s photo from Hillsborough Lodge?  Was it Colonel Craptastic in the Master’s office?  Was it Professor Postman in the Past Master’s room?  Was it BrokeAss Tenant in the secretary’s office?  As with the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie pop, the world may never know. 

Such speculation makes for fine felonious food for thought; agree?  

And thus begs the question:  What will prevent thievery in Masonic lodges? 

Trust was stolen by documented thief James Anderson Foster, who for over a decade  failed to disclose his lengthy, violent, felonious history.  Further, this breach is why Felon-free Masonry does not recognize cowan Foster as either a brother or Past Master.  However, felon Foster firmly cements the difference between unmasonic and nonmasonic; embodying the latter, of course. 

The removal of felon Foster’s photograph from the Worshipful Master’s office is yet another violation of trust.  While Felon-free Masonry strongly agrees that the egregious one’s photo does not belong on any Masonic property, it does not agree with the method of removal:  theft

The dictionary defines theft as the act of stealing.  The wrongful taking and carrying away of the personal goods or property of another; larceny. 

Likewise, the Florida Department of Corrections defines and documents thrice convicted felon James Anderson Foster as a thief:


That’s not to say felon Foster is responsible for this particular physical act of theft.  Nor is it to say he isn’t.  It is to say that just as with pinning the tail on the jackass donkey behind the theft of felon Foster’s membership petition, the world may never know. 

And it is to say gee, quite the cloud of thievery swirls around and about Felon Foster; agree? 

So, what, and who, ensures Masonic trust?  Should trust be documented in written form and stored in Mason jars? 

Oh, nevermind, that only works with troll chasing.

Oh, wait, actually that didn’t work with the troll. 

Perhaps it’s best to heed the immortal words of C. Donald: “let the chips to fall where they may.” 

You know, because he said felon Foster’s best at that.


(By the way, are those laboring under suspension allowed to deck out in Masonic bling, including World Wide Wrestling quality pie plate belt buckles?  Good gravy, that thing is ugly.  So’s the buckle.)


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